28 September 2025
People hate IKEA. Or at least I do.
Instant frustration — and that’s before I even open their disassembled box of alleged furniture parts. Then come the little plastic bags of screws and fasteners, with no instructions. IKEA are sadists.
By the time I realise the “instructions” are just vague cartoon drawings, I’m already cross.
My solution? Hire a fourth-grader who can figure it out faster than me.
Presentations Can Feel the Same Way
And that is exactly how our presentations can look to prospects:
- Frustrating
- Incomplete
- Non-sensical
They just want to run away and pound their heads on the floor until they’re unconscious.
My first presentations? They were so bad even I got bored.
Why? Because I didn’t realise that prospects don’t care how our business works. They don’t want to know how special we are.
They want answers to their real questions:
- “What will I have to pay?”
- “Can I make a decision on this business?”
- “How much can I lose?”
- “What’s the catch?”
And none of those answers were in my slides. I was too busy trying to convince prospects.
Patience Is Short
If we’re not clear, we can’t expect patience from prospects. Life is too short for confusing presentations.
For the record, it only took me 3 minutes to lose patience with IKEA.
Our prospects? They have even less.
The Two Programmes That Matter
As professional network marketers, we must speak to the programmes in our prospects’ subconscious minds.
Two of the biggest are:
- Survival
- Curiosity
Which one would you prefer to speak to?
A Question Before Bed
Here’s a simple nightly habit:
“What is the one new thing I learned today?”
It keeps us growing, sharp, and ready to connect better tomorrow.
Final Thought
The difference between IKEA furniture and a good presentation?
At least with the presentation, you don’t end up with three leftover screws and a wobbly table.
I’m delighted to be speaking at 2 online coaching sessions with the Personal Finance Society Ipswich Committee:
Wednesday 5 November, 12:00pm – 1:00pm
How to close more easily using the exact soft words—face to face or over the phone/video call.
Wednesday 3 December, 12:00pm – 1:00pm
How to build solid trust and rapport in seconds—face to face and over the phone/video call.
Each 1-hour session is practical, focused, and interactive. If you’re a financial advisor, mortgage broker, or insurance broker, you’ll find these skills incredibly useful.
Register here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/plPLDmhjQRaz1KGtJhyDLQ#/registration
Looking forward to seeing you there!
Humour
Closing One-Liners
- Networking is like tea — best served warm, not cold.
- Prospects don’t want rocket science… unless you’re actually selling rockets.
- Silence is golden — but not when you’re supposed to start a conversation.
- A smile is cheaper than advertising — and usually works faster.
- The only thing worse than a boring presentation is two boring presentations.
- Conversations start with “Hi” — not with a 40-page brochure.
Until the next time, if you have friends who would like to get these newsletters, please send this link:
http://www.berniedesouza.com/coaching/professionals.aspx
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